Its all abt having a little faith on stuffs and things that u usually do.

i can kind of forsee myself making lots of hesitation decision tmr.

cos im insecure.

cos he had left.

cos i still feel like stranger to some colleagues.(im sure they felt the same way)

cos im unsure how im gonna survive through tis nov and dec at work.

cos my surroundingss will be filled wif empty chairs and 3 empty cubic beside mi..

im too reliance on someone once i found someone to lean on, getting his help always.

I need to become more independent!

tmr lunch is also another head-ache, hopefully there wont be any awkward silence.

So, who else is leaving?
y are those tht i counted as a 'zhen jing' job always there are pple leaving..

working as intern at JMS, one of the colleague left after a week we had our internship there, but at tht time, got desmond wif mi together at the internship, so i felt still alright...
Next stop is NMB, working as a lab time, neva did i dream of that i would be the reason for tht colleague to resignn...the reason she didnt tink of resigning in the beginning is BECOS, there mitez not be enough pple to take over her position. But since i've joined the company, she can be at peace when she resign, cos shijia here shall take over her...=.=''
and i felt realli realli sad, cos she's my shi fu, my colleague, together wif my 'ah ma'. had the lonely feeling when she left, unpleasant feeling i shall name it..=.=''
not a feeling tht i would wan to have a taste of it ever again..

BUT life jus isnt tht simple, cos PPLE will leave...
regardless of watever is the circumstances..
tis time round, working in AXA.
He's the first one tht i found im able to talk to quite well and have lunch wif, and through him, i met his friends and had lunch wif them..
& he left last fri...
& MUCH WORST! those ladies whom i have lunch wif once, they are realli quite socialable.
2nd branch of colleagues tht im able to talk wif..
and Guess wat again? THEY are LEAVING TOO!!!
All of their department members is moving down to the lower level..
GRRRR..
so ver soon, my surroundings will be left wif empty cubics.
4 walls and my com shall be my friends..=.=''

fri's feelings is not something tht i want to feel, but somehow it jus have to happen...=.=''

zhen and fen are right, its quite hard to find someone in office tht u can talk wif, and when u found one, he/she left, the feeling is super unpleasant...
u felt alone again..

tmr mi shall be back to "data-entry" job..
"data-entry" shall be a more representable title in relation to wat im doing now.

sweet dreams! =D
1:51 AM

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Am loving tis job even when its realli boring, cos doing the same stuffs here and there..
wondering if realli work life is like tht? everyday u r jus doin underwriting stuffs for insurance product, doin analysis for the company...
who wont grow tired of it? -___-!!!
same procedure, same steps, same forms to fill in, same report analysis..
its hundred percent educational, and i learnt wat i've been taught..
put into practise of wat i've learn in sch..

Financial REPORTs here we go again..

Conclusion: Its Educating BUT Boring...=.=''

finally after 1 week plus of week, i realise i AM ABLE to log in to msn through hotmail email...haha!
cos the company block webmessenger and ebuddy website...i thought it was hopeless alread, and today, im once again re-ignite wif joy to use the msn, which in e END, STUPID internet Server, log mi out always...*pouts*

in the end, i click the 'wrong' msn chat box to chat wif, end up have to find an excuse to excuse myself from the conversation.
wasn't a realli happy conversation either...
or maybe its jus a feeling, a bad feeling..
log out before it get any worse..

and suddenly, having tis sickly feeling that im not looking forward to it, not as much as i thought i myself would be.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
church is for worshiping god and to work for god, slowly nowadays i've been lost from tht reason. i go to church, no longer felt like im worshipping god or working for god..
i started to feel negativity from human beings, friends that i start to dislike (feelings tht started to grow stronger and stronger each day).
Jus when i started the journey of disliking, friends started to come to life tht makes u grow fond of them (feelings started to disappear)...
Is tht miracle done by god, to prevent His child from falling away?
Yesh, i believe so..
but i wont be moved away from my decision to quit the teaching ministry at sunday sch.
i can still serve God in ways of playing as a pianist for sunday sch.
but i shall quit teaching..

wishing to concentrate on service more and listen to more pastor preaching.
cos i started to notice eversince i started tis teaching in sunday sch, i onli attend service twice every 2 months!!
its DAMN ridiculous...
by right suppose to teach every alternate month, and becos the month the teacher in need of assistance, u end up CANT attend to service, so as a result, u devoted u r life and time to tht ministry and neglected services..
THT IS NOT HEALTHY!!
(ive lost my way to god, but my faith in Christ hasn't been shaken)
Thus, in order to regain my journey as a christian and crave for bible knowledge.
i shall resign from the ministry at tis yr end..

Ciaoz~~~

sweet dreams! =D
3:36 AM

Thursday, October 22, 2009

time flies real quick and its alread near end of oct..
good luck to my cousin and xx for their up coming exam!! =D
Ganbettnex!

for now, still waiting for the contract from the company...
felt so insecure abt tis job, not sure whether i CONFIRM gg to work on the 2nd of nov anot, even though the lady say U confirm working on the 2nd of Nov.
but no contract no nothing, and didnt even tell mi e exact location even when i asked where is it...jus simply tell mi its shenton way there..=.='''
this is so frustrating...Y didnt i accept the admin job at maybank, their pay is higher, 1.5x for OT, 2x for PH...tht's like so COOLLL and its 7 bucks per hr..y NOT?!!!
admin is busying, but the $$ keeps u motivated! XD

and now, im slacking at home, not sure if tht COMPANY gg to send mi the contract anot..
i shall give them TILL next mON! =.=''

met up wif zhen yesterday to do our cousins bday card..
spent abt 2 hrs sitting at the bench there to beautify up those stuffs...
ITS so much fun playing wif the metallic wire thingy, and zhen keep dismantling my letter 'y' & 'd' & 'p' and twist it into a heart shape ring..
end up we totally forgotten to patch up those letter...tsk tsk..
zhen arhzzzz...haha!


she's abt to sleep alread...poor gal..




my letters BIR! haha!




we are totally so hard WORKING! XD




she and her smiley face..=P


its pretty messy! haha, wif all those double sided tape..


notice the 'bald' part of the letter 'y'??




our final PRODUCT! =D




TA-DA~~~~

sweet dreams! =D
9:49 PM

Thursday, October 15, 2009

im lacking of pics to express my life..
im bad at words to describe those FUN, Excitement, Stress & Nervous-ness!

some stuffs can onli be express wif actions, but some stuffs need to be handled by words, cos action itself jus arent tht much good enough.

Fun excitement before and after exam, stress & nervous during study periods..
[lack of sleep, time of the month (wat a timing =X)]

Before exams, there's my cousin wedding:
well, not much pictures taken from there as compared to rulin's wedding..
cos forgot to bring the camera, IN the morning as well as at nitez, actually we kind of remember during the last min, but were alread out of the house and PLUS camera no batt...
=.='''
Such a pityyy... sorry cousins, if not such a good photographer like mi, sure can take LOTS and LOTS of pics for your bro...XD


the SMALL cousin who refuse to look at hp cam..


someone's bday is exactly 1 month later den mi BUT older den mi..=P


dun they look lovely together?? haha! XD



after tht, right before exams..
went for xiaomei's 21st bash and meet someone who jus joined our small family ..=D
he and our ah pa is havin such a good time together...haha! XD
Thanks sweetie gal, for inviting us...we are SO glad to be there to enjoy this day joy wif u..^_^ *hugz*
food was delicious and best of All, i MISS the accompaniment wif ALL OF THEM.
ah pa especially (been real long), hextsers, little princess...
on our journey home by bus, mi xx and julie were laughing non-stop!! oh dear..
luckily onli nic is there, if hs were wif him and they combine their power of COLD jokes..
i tink all of us gals will fall to the floor and die of laughter...
tee heex!







During exams periods, my study table was chaotic..
papers here and there..bks here and there! looks more like fighting a war..
its onli dip level, and its tis messy..
i wonder next yr degree stage how my table will looks like..since now its smaller den usual...LOlx!

but after Exam, we realli went RELAX!! totally feel likes wings can fly...
well, actually after FSB, RMIP is like no kick at all...alread felt was on holiday...
After rmip, had pizza hut for lunch wif uni friends.
& Fav of ALl! KBOX!!!! (though their finger food were SUPER oilY)
we sang till 7 plus nearly 8pm. and still, no one came to chase us out..
guess cos its weekday, so not much pple..
=P

well, guess i will stop here for now..
and PRAy real hard i can get a JOB!!
& XX! All the best in ur upcoming exams! we will have another outing soon after everyone's exams...=D
*huGz*
& after xx, its serene's exam, followed by tf..
Everyone, JIA YOU!! =D

sweet dreams! =D
9:01 AM

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

a ver nice song by christine glass =D

enjoy pple!



If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home,
Boy, my love will get you home.

sweet dreams! =D
9:14 PM

exams Arriving in 2 weeks plus 2 days!! OMGOSH!
times flies and here's the exam period...

Arighty, and jus attended ivan's wedding last sunday..
n y does the subject: 'MONEY' always appear in my 3rd aunt and my ah ma's dictionary!
i simply dun understand at ALL..

Yesh, i noe my ah ma is ver proud of her eldest son for being the most 'MATUREd' among her other children..
& one who have ver good management on his and his family's finance..

after studying tis econs and finance degree..
I DO believe tht wif good management in ur finance and excellent saving strategy..
u r able to achieve wat my fater achieve today...
SO NO PT BEING JEALOUS ABT HIM!
cos this is HIS REWARD for having a good management in his finance.
he dun anyhow spend like U do, unlike u, he DUN gamble away his money and put his family's income at RISK.
UNLIKE U, he studies and do research first before buying or investing in shares, HE noe when to STOP or the limit of his line. If the share performance is not GOOD.

SO Dun come appear infront of mi or OTHERs and make A RIDICULOUS comment that: "those who sit or pose like tht, are R***, have the ABILITY to BUY *****".
iTS his HARD EARNED MONEY, SO he can DO watever HE likes wif it..
Dun u dare make it sounds like its a CRIME to have something to ENJOY FOR your OWN retirement!
He earned IT, HE SHOULD ENJOY IT!
HE perspire and sweat for IT, HIS TIME and VALUE for IT!

Jealous if u wan to be, I DUN CARE!
Its ur own world u wan to be.
GROW UP!
even when u appears to be older den mi, ur minds, hearts, thoughts are still immature, trap in the world of money!
Be blinded by it, but dun u dare DRAG MI or my family into MISERY becos of WAT u state and BECOS u happens to be related to us.

Am i ashamed of u?

sweet dreams! =D
2:57 AM

Saturday, September 12, 2009

its until last nitez tht my mom tell mi today is ACTUALLY my LUNAr BDAy!! Whohoo!
and cl was wondering, how come my lunar bday is earlier den eng bday, thought usually should be after?? haha...
mi dunno how to count chinese calender, so dun care..haha! since mom say it is, den it is!=p

and yesh we had a fulling sake sushi after ALL even though fen is having 'h1n1'...(>_<)
elaine and mi reach first while cl went lost and elaine went searching for the lost gal and came back with cl...hehs! =P

its a pity no pics were taking cos the FOOD is GOOD! or most prob cos mi and elaine was super hungry and i had 3 bowls of miso soup. wondered if they got put drug inside anot, cos it super addictive!! same like those we are addicted to coffee....>.<
had peeps talks here and there, random long topics..
until we are almost like attending history lesson..weirdest many random topics i've ever come by...even talk abt sg history, 9.1.1 incidents, asia countries, korea.
and den after tht switch to music topics..and out pop elaine: ShIJIA, PLZ GO FIND thiS SONG and PLAY.I lIKE ....0_0
eh, gal gal..piano haven arrive yet....need wait abt another month or so...so for now, listen to ur mp3 and send mi those songs!! =D

our usual timings was like ate for an hr plus den go off..
but today cos our topic SUPER random, we ate till 2 hrs plus until we were practically the ver last customers to leave the sake sushi...

after tht shijia spend AlMOST hundred bucks at the BODY SHOP>>>>
T_T
seriously, wat did i BUY??? *pouts*
and den after tht we almost spend abt 10 bucks on try to catch a toy which end up is 'catching air'. -____-!!!
AHHH, 10 bucks i can buy 4 packets of chicken riCE!

oh well, fen, faster get well from ur 'h1n1' k and u promise mi another shopping day! teeheex =P

sweet dreams! =D
6:55 AM

Friday, September 11, 2009

wat's the pt of celebrating when ur friends one by one falling sick and ignoring ur msgs WHILE she replied others. and one wanting to rush home so badly cos she got date at night..

slowly ms lin is emo-ing, have the urge to cancel tmr small celebration for bday..
she's trying to be tough and be realli positive around things.
RIGHT, bday gal organising her own bday celebration.
or should it be the other way round?

sweet dreams! =D
8:31 AM

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Fragile Heart
A fragile heart, was broken before
I don't think it could endure
Another pain
But there's a voice from deep inside
Of you
That's calling out to make you realise
That this new bond gives inspiration
To all who feel no love appeal no more
So how can I break this wall
around you
That's aiding our hearts to grow
in pain
So forget your past, and we can
Dream tomorrow
Save our hearts for care and
Lovin too
It's hard I know, but oh one things
For sure
Don't go and break this fragile heart
A hurting mind in need of emotion
I don't think I could endure
Another pain
But baby in you, I've found affection
Affection I have never felt before
So don't let your past
Destroy what comes tomorrow
Don't go and break my fragile heart
With all this fire that burns
Between us
There's so much to lose, yet so much
More to gain
And if I could choose the world
Around me
The world to choose, would all
Revolve around you
So help me complete the game
Inside me
And help to mend my fragile heart
Fragile Heart
edit by chuming E-mail:
Over...

sweet dreams! =D
7:17 PM

Y ever is hair SUCH a troublesome MATTER!!
i HATE iT!!

sweet dreams! =D
9:59 AM

Monday, September 7, 2009

tis blog is getting rustier and rustier each day, guess i haven been update much ...=P

used to tell pple and listening to pple say its a good habit keepin a diary, but end up i didnt keep up wif this habit...=.=''
it's realli been a while, a long while...we have been gathering here and there...but we dun exchange much other den celebrating one and other's bday.
wat's the purpose here?

i guess its mi actually...
excited in seeing them, but den other den meeting up for birthdays and buying present. we dun realli chat or sms wif each other. is tis realli friendship or accquiaintances?

yesh, and to mi tis one is a new word to learn...of cos i come by this word alot of times but i neva noe the true meaning of it.guess im not those english gal..
and i started to distinguish between friends and accquaintances..
or uni and poly friends acquaintances or are we friends.
at least i used to have one of the poly friend aka uni friend as a realli good friend like a sister.
but tis friendship is over. by both our stubborn-ness..
a knife in the heart and i fear of experiencing the feeling again.
yesh, now im a gal wif a mask on the face. afraid of being hurt by or another knife piercing through my heart.
im scared of her, most probably..
even wif the wishing HARD tht i wan to be friends wif her once more cos i dun wan it to end like tis. but i cant bring myself to forget the pain and suffer i went through.

and i know if i keep distinguish my friends between friends and accquintances, i will neva REALLI make any friends..
was on the subject wif one of my bestie and wat she said is the same thing as my other bestie said and that made mi troubled..
i LOVE having friends, i like having good friends...like even after uni or after poly, we stil hang out wif one another.
'good friends are hard to come by, a few close friends is enough...'
i guess wat they said is true...
im tired of distinguishing...

a few close friends, and i truely am thankful to FAther that i have those 3 gals by my side.
should appreciate wat i have by my side and not grumble abt stuffs tht i do not have..
should be thankful that i have this 2 gals, kris & SN in uni and to be by myside in uni life.
Thankful that i DO have other uni friends regardles gals or guys. And whether they treat mi as their friends anot. im still thankful that we chatted and hanging out.
shant complain things and learn to appreciate more and thankful for wat i have in sight...

For past few days, my first hang out wif this clique of friends at kbox, nearly caught a bear at the arcade and we squeak so loudly that other pple look at us and thought we caught something..but end up its NEARLY dropping. If it wasnt for the bear's hand to be stuck...(>_<)
should jus give the machine a push...haha!

Yester thank God for hongmin to be in sch, i cant BELIEVE i forgotten to bring the most impt thing: JACKET!!!
i was tinking i gonna freeze and die inside the lecturer room, mite as well go home and den self study..haha! luckily hongmin was in sch and i borrowed his jacket for class..if not i will confirm pon...=P

N ms SN is sick..wish u well and tc k? =]

sweet dreams! =D
8:56 PM

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

how much more of pretense can i still bear??
y cant pple jus be real and NOT act...=.='''

they are sooo fAKE!
glad finally noticed

sweet dreams! =D
5:57 AM